9dp5dt

So, it turns out this cycle was a success. All that extra shit I went through to determine the best possible time to put embryos in my uterus was WORTH IT. However, this breast tenderness I've got going on is not a constant thing (it comes and goes) and it's making me really pretty nervous about my HCG Beta blood test I'm having tomorrow. When I had my ectopic pregnancy in 2010, I knew something was wrong pretty early on and my breast tenderness did pretty much the same thing it's doing now. When I was pregnant with my son, I remember my breast tenderness was strong and unwavering. I'm nervous that my HCG levels will be below 80 mIU/ml, which can be an indicator of a non-viable pregnancy. When I had my ectopic, my levels never got above about 50 mIU/ml. I know there is really no sense in worrying about it because it's going to be whatever it is... but we are so close to what we have been working for that I am going to be pretty devastated if it doesn't work out.

Also, I'm kinda bummed because, due to the holiday, I will have to wait until Tuesday to get my repeat HCG Beta levels drawn and that will probably feel like a fucking eternity. Fingers crossed that tomorrow's beta is well over 100 mIU/ml!!

So much is going through my brain right now that I feel suffocated. I will have to make a special effort to stay off the damn fertility message boards over the long weekend. They're toxic for someone as anxious as myself. Also, I'm worried that switching to the ethyl oleate mixture was hazardous to this whole process. I will have to ask my doctor tomorrow.