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Your plans mean nothing.

So we just got back from our scheduling appointment with the FET coordinator and it turns out we won't be doing the actual embryo transfer until the middle of December... like, the 18th. I was NOT planning to have a transfer that late. This puts us at a due date of around September 5th. I was maybe kind of okay with having a due date of mid-August, but September 5th is REEEEALLY pushing it. I will likely have my 3rd semester nursing program orientation on the 22nd, and because 3rd semester classes are on Wednesdays, I probably won't have class until the 29th. However, I really did not want to be due after the semester starts.

This is really, really difficult. AND, if for some reason I don't start my period within 4 days of ending the progesterone from my mock cycle... not only will I not get to visit my mom for Thanksgiving (due to baseline ultrasound scheduling), we will likely not make the cut off for transfer before the clinic lab closes for the Christmas holiday... which means we would have to plan for a January transfer. I literally cannot have that. That means my due date would be in the middle of the semester, and not just at the beginning. I cannot and will not do that to myself. It doesn't super duper matter to my husband because he will just be off work for 6 weeks. But I will have labs and classes and clinicals and I will need to be able to get enough sleep every night to make it through this. We have also discussed moving about 45 minutes north next summer because his commute every day sucks and he has to do it 4-5x per week, whereas my commute to school is 2x a week at most.

My mom suggested we put all of this off until next summer, but my husband is already 47 and he doesn't want to put it off that long. He would be almost 49 by the time the baby arrived.

I know I am not ready to stop trying because when, while we were alone in the room trying to digest this new schedule, he suggested we just be done completely... I broke down crying. I'm not ready to be done. We said we would give it ONE MORE TRY, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if we stopped now.

I'm really just at a loss for what to do.

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