Skip to main content

Your plans mean nothing.

So we just got back from our scheduling appointment with the FET coordinator and it turns out we won't be doing the actual embryo transfer until the middle of December... like, the 18th. I was NOT planning to have a transfer that late. This puts us at a due date of around September 5th. I was maybe kind of okay with having a due date of mid-August, but September 5th is REEEEALLY pushing it. I will likely have my 3rd semester nursing program orientation on the 22nd, and because 3rd semester classes are on Wednesdays, I probably won't have class until the 29th. However, I really did not want to be due after the semester starts.

This is really, really difficult. AND, if for some reason I don't start my period within 4 days of ending the progesterone from my mock cycle... not only will I not get to visit my mom for Thanksgiving (due to baseline ultrasound scheduling), we will likely not make the cut off for transfer before the clinic lab closes for the Christmas holiday... which means we would have to plan for a January transfer. I literally cannot have that. That means my due date would be in the middle of the semester, and not just at the beginning. I cannot and will not do that to myself. It doesn't super duper matter to my husband because he will just be off work for 6 weeks. But I will have labs and classes and clinicals and I will need to be able to get enough sleep every night to make it through this. We have also discussed moving about 45 minutes north next summer because his commute every day sucks and he has to do it 4-5x per week, whereas my commute to school is 2x a week at most.

My mom suggested we put all of this off until next summer, but my husband is already 47 and he doesn't want to put it off that long. He would be almost 49 by the time the baby arrived.

I know I am not ready to stop trying because when, while we were alone in the room trying to digest this new schedule, he suggested we just be done completely... I broke down crying. I'm not ready to be done. We said we would give it ONE MORE TRY, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if we stopped now.

I'm really just at a loss for what to do.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Progesterone in Ethyl Oleate

Due to a nationwide shortage of my usual progesterone-in-oil, I have been using some compounded stuff that uses ethyl oleate and HOLY SHIT IT HURTS. It goes in a lot easier, but it seriously hurts. I hope the manufacturer gets their shit figured out soon because I would like to go back to my old formulation as soon as humanly possible.

PIO Day 2

I started my progesterone-in-oil injections yesterday and, honestly, it wasn't as bad as I'd remembered. I was at clinical, so I enlisted the help of my classmate to do my injection. Might as well help someone learn, right? She did an excellent job. My butt didn't really hurt much until I got home because we don't really get much chance to sit down and rest during clinicals. I just now got done with my second injection and I did some squats to help move it around. It hurts to have a big ball of oil sitting in your muscle, so I will also probably go for a walk after I drop the kiddo off at school. This all seems easy now, but that might be in part because I know I will only have to do these for 6 more days and then I can stop until we do our actual FET cycle in December. And, if that cycle works, I will need to continue the injections until 10 weeks of pregnancy.... and that seems like an eternity to me. Oh, well, it will be worth it if it works.

Endometrial Biopsy #2

I am so excited that I am DONE with invasive fertility procedures for this month*. I won't need to restart my PIO injections until about the 10th of December and I will hopefully never need another excruciatingly painful endometrial biopsy for the rest of my life. If I'm being honest, today's biopsy was not made easier by the fact I had one two days ago. This one hurt much worse, but I have been bleeding less since... so I guess there's that? This morning, after dropping the kiddo off at school, I swung by a Redbox to pick up a movie to watch after I got home (Jason Bourne!). And, after arriving home from the doctor, I only made it about 45 minutes into it before I realized I wasn't going to be able to stay awake. I had also ordered a pizza and snarfed three pieces... which may have contributed to my sleepiness. I laid down in bed at about 11am and got up at about 3:10pm. I don't remember the last time I took a nap like that. It definitely helps that the house...