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A Little History

I often wish that I had started a blog to chronicle this foray into the world of Assisted Reproductive Technology early last year when we officially began the process. However, I didn't... so instead I will give a timeline as best I can (it's been a while).

Late 2015. We thought we should start looking into fertility clinics, but it was expensive and we had lots of other stuff going on, so we put it off. We did speak with a reproductive endocrinologist at one of the clinics here, but told them we needed to sit on it a while.

February 2016. We get a call from the clinic asking if we would maybe be interested in participating in an IVF medication study. They told me it would significantly reduce our costs. The medications were not new, they were ones that had been used for years. The study was only focusing on outcomes for each of the medications. I went in for the necessary testing and, holy crap, I qualified!

March 2016. We start the stimulation cycle and I am just overwhelmed by all the medications. All these injections and pills and, because of the study, I was unable to really discuss any side effects without fear of being booted from the study. We did our retrieval and got around 23 embryos! I remember wishing someone had explained to me beforehand exactly HOW they retrieve the embryos. It didn't occur to me they would be making incisions on the inside of my vaginal wall until I was coming to in the recovery room and saw blood running down my legs.

We ended up with eleven fertilized embryos that made it long enough to do genetic testing (which was also included in the low price of our study fee). Two came back abnormal, two "nonconcurrent" (still not sure what that meant), and the seven others were good to go. Our fresh transfer cycle was also included in the study, and they did a single embryo transfer cycle with the best looking embryo of the bunch.

Cycle one, in March 2016, was a failure.

Cycle two, in May 2016, also a failure.

Cycle three, in August 2016.... well, yeah, also a failure.

I gave up for a while. I was focusing on school and hammering out all my prerequisites for the nursing program. I applied for nursing school in February 2017 and got accepted for Fall 2017 admission. I would be comfortable waiting until my 3rd semester of nursing school before proceeding with any more fertility treatments, but my husband is 47. I will be 33 in about a month. So, time isn't exactly on our side. So, we decided to proceed with more fertility treatments this last summer (2017) because it would equal a summer 2018 due date and that I can work with.

In March 2017, when we were of sound mind, we decided that we would try two IUI cycles before progressing into what would be our very last frozen embryo transfer cycle. I hated everything about both my stim cycle and frozen transfer cycles last year. I hate the shots. I hate the blood draws. I hate the planning. And, most of all, I hate all the hope and positive thoughts I poured into it. It all felt like a tremendous waste every time I got the call saying my beta HCG was zero.

So, now we are just moving past our 2nd failed IUI cycle and I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the process to come. Not one, but TWO, painful endometrial biopsies are looming. Plus more of the awful progesterone-in-oil injections into two clearly marked areas (thanks to the nurse and her sharpie pen) on my backside. Plus, all the things will cost even more money. The cycle fees have gone up since last year and we are doing a mock cycle plus there will be lab fees from the biopsy.

If we actually do get pregnant, (s)he will be a very expensive little bundle of joy. However, (s)he will also be 1,000,000% worth it.... and that's why I'm doing this again despite how much I hate all of it.

After this, I'm done paying for help to conceive. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, well, then I will just make sure my existing wonderful amazing child knows how much love him. Also, we will likely take one hell of a vacation to help me take my mind off things.

Oh, and nursing school, lol. Can't forget about that. :)

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